The Mercury / Wednesday
Why is breaking up so hard to do?
It’s not difficult for people who take relationships lightly, who hop and skip from one relationship to another, who regard others as dispensable, and who use others for their own purposes. Their connections are easily formed and breaking up appears to be, at least on the surface, to involve little more than a trifle inconvenience.
Breaking up is exceedingly difficult when there’s been a head and heart physical commitment and connection, when there has been trust and shared space both physical and emotionally, and when resources have been pooled in trust and in good faith. It’s difficult when families have met and formed a profound connection. It’s difficult when there are children involved, when children’s lives are disrupted because the adults whom they love and trust are no longer able to love and trust each other.
Breaking up is hard to do when there is denial, deceit, and cheating and when one of the parties is played along and continues to trust while the other is living or developing a duplicitous life.
Breaking up is hard to do when questions are unanswered and anger becomes the glue that keeps people together while they are trying so desperately to find the resolve to establish life apart.
Leave a Reply