Her grief – I don’t know what to do…..

by Rod Smith

“My very close friend’s husband died a month ago. She is battling to come to terms with it. We work together. I am trying my best to comfort and to be available for her as much as I can. She has adult children who are married and are very good to her. They visit and have meals with her. This morning she broke down crying again. Please advise me. How can help her. When I see her crying I don’t know what to do.”

Your friend has not had nearly enough time to re-order her life in the absence of her husband. It may be years before she feels as if her life once again has some meaningful traction.

When she breaks down crying at work let her handle that with her immediate supervisors. Perhaps there is a room at work where she could get some privacy to do necessary grieving. Your challenge is to not allow her grief and expressions of it to unsettle and distract you.

You can comfort your friend. You can be alongside her when she is struggling. But, all grief has to be faced head-on by the one who is grieving. Nothing can or should attempt to short-circuit the process.

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