I’ve heard these themes (these are not actual quotations) time and again from young people. The spin varies depending culture and economic status.

• I wanted my father to talk with me – not only teach me or tell me what he expected or to tell me his stories from the past that seemed like ancient history to me – but to engage with me.
• I wanted a dad, not just a sports coach – although I loved it when he coached me sports.
• Even though I was trying to be very masculine and self-sufficient I needed to know my dad had my back.
• Sometimes it felt as if my father was really trying to get close to me but that he didn’t know how – like he was afraid of me. I only know that now – I couldn’t see it then.
• All I wanted was for my parents to be friends – the divorce didn’t stop the fighting.
• When my parents were friends everything was hopeful about life – when they fought, even over the smallest things, it would feel like my life was falling apart.
• “The thing I remember the most was when he’d ask my mother to leave the cooking up to him and to me – those are the times I really treasure.” (Actual quotation)

Posted on August 6, 2015 at 1:38 am in Difficult Relationships   |  RSS feed |   Reply   |   Trackback URL