Is it ok to lie about divorce?

by Rod Smith

“I entered a relationship with a divorced woman with three children. I discovered early on that she had lied about her marital status. She was in fact separated, not divorced. I ended the relationship as she had lied to me about her marital status and felt that she had ‘unfinished business’ with her husband. I felt that I ran the risk of her going back to her husband. I have never dated a woman who is separated. Is it ever appropriate to enter into a relationship with a woman who is separated?”


  1. I cannot condone a blatant lie but some truth is harder to tell. I’d be inclined to give a woman a break. I have met brutally honest women who can barely utter the “D” word.
  2. Of course the woman is going to have “unfinished business.” She has three children and a history and a future with him, separated or divorced. Loving her will mean embracing it ALL. There is no clean slate.
  3. You felt you “ran the risk of her going back to her husband” suggests you are self-protecting without considering what might be best for the woman and her children.
  4. I’d suggest it is unwise to knowingly enter a relationship with a married person.

One Comment to “Is it ok to lie about divorce?”

  1. I would say it’s never safe….there’s always a side door as a result of that “unfinished business.” And of course you are self-protecting (shouldn’t you be in this situation?). I’m a woman but, except for only once in my lifetime, I don’t date separated men either. The breakup was extremely painful and not ever again worth it.

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