Relationships can deteriorate very quickly – and one of the two persons might feel the need to set limits or draw a “line in the sand.”

While this is often necessary, there are a few things to consider:

1. Idle threats are ineffective. If you don’t mean it, or cannot act upon it, your stand will be fruitless and your credibility will be minimized. It will make self definition much harder to achieve the next time.

2. You might not get what you want. If winning is your only option you might want to think things through a little more.

3. Don’t proclaim your stand, set limits, declare boundaries when you are angry or upset or under the influence of absolutely anything. Wait until you are calm. Have your limits well rehearsed. Your partner will expect you to behave as you have always behaved. He or she knows every trick in your book to get (from you) the kinds of responses to which you are both accustomed.

4. Don’t take a strong stand on matters not worthy of the energy. Some things are really unimportant and are just not worth the effort.

Posted on September 2, 2009 at 9:16 pm in Blended families, Boundaries, Children, Communication   |  RSS feed |   Reply   |   Trackback URL