Archive for July 27th, 2009

July 27, 2009

Loving adult sons and daughters….

by Rod Smith

ACT, Australia

ACT, Australia

As we grow older, the seasons in our lives change and the adjustment to that change requires attention and re-alignment. When our children leave home, we really miss them, and relating to them isn’t about meeting their needs but listening and relating to them as adults. They don’t need us in the ways they use to – we no longer have the role we once had. Parenting takes on different aspects – being available for support and friendship while at the same time offering encouragement as we see their lives being lived and the children coming along.

My own “learning curve” as our children got older was to make the decision to focus on the roots of my own anxieties, which came from my own family background. There were issues in my own life that needed healing. I saw very clearly my tendencies to want to control their lives because I thought my way was better. I had made mistakes and I didn’t want them to make the same mistakes.

A challenging task for many parents – especially moms, is ‘letting go’ of their sons and daughters to let them live their lives. It’s being able to stand back and allow them to do it THEIR way – trusting and respecting their values and decisions how they parent, and where they go no matter how radical it might seem.

Loving takes on a whole new meaning. It takes a lot of focus and energy to change the way we see our sons and daughters. Keeping quiet when we could voluntarily give our ‘sound advice’ is hard work. If they ask for input, that’s another story.

I pray a lot for my adult children and also for myself that I may continue to keep accepting them as they are and releasing them to their own journeys.

Readers wanting to write directly to Jean may do so at: Jean@TakeUpYourLife.com

July 27, 2009

Powerful abilities are at your disposal…

by Rod Smith

You can do all five today...

You can do all five today...

1. Forgiveness – not necessarily “forgetting” although forgetting is a bonus, but fully forgiving everyone, everything, and all the time. I am not suggesting you stand in line to be repeatedly hurt.

2. Generosity – offering of your resources, gifts, and skills to others for a fee, or no fee. Both can be expressions of generosity. Just because you pay for something does not mean the source is not generous. Remember, and I’d give credit if I knew where I heard it, “If you get something for nothing someone is getting nothing for something!”

3. Hospitality – offering your home, car, and your resources (wisely) to others empowers everyone in the equation. It is a bonus if you can do it for an enemy or an estranged family member. This is radical hospitality.

4. Humor – offering others your ability to see and to express the lighter sides of life. Anxious people (organizations, churches, schools, businesses) become convinced that seriousness is more productive or more important than playfulness. In truth it is quite the opposite. (Please read Ed. Friedman: Failure of Nerve).

5. Awareness – developing healthy awareness of the impact your life has on others, the environment, and the future.