“How can you make someone love you or stay in love? My wife just turned 40 (she looks 30) and I think she thinks she old and I think she has needs for attention. She thinks if she doesn’t get out of our marriage now, she will be too old to attract anyone else. Any input?”
I’d suggest the harder you try to make someone love you, the more of a controlling person you will become. Because love is a choice there is therefore nothing you can do to force love either into, or out of, someone.
As is often true, your marriage is facing deeper issues than your wife’s need for attention, or her (inevitable) aging!
Things might significantly improve in your marriage if you focused your anxiety elsewhere other than on your apparently high-maintenance wife.
I think you’d be amazed at how much people can grow and be transformed when left to do it.
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