My husband ignores Mothers Day

“My husband, like many other men, considers Mothers Day to be a commercialized rip-off. He says that I am not his mother and will not acknowledge Mothers Day for me. I feel it would be nice to be acknowledged as the mother of his children . It would be nice if he set a good example to the children and helped them choose a card or very small gift so that they learn to show appreciation for what is done for the mom a daily basis. What I find very hurtful is that  the day before Mothers Day he asks me what I have bought for his mother for Mothers Day even though she is not MY mother. Every Fathers Day I buy him a small gift and a card from myself and the children and wish him because I think it is healthy for the children to learn to say thank you and show appreciation and also I would like to be the bigger person. We have had children for 16 years. Please comment.”

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Mother Day may well be a commercialized rip-off. But, your husband could still MAKE something beautiful for you and, in so doing,  teach your children to resist predatory commercialism and express how he treasures the mother of his children! Happy Mothers Day!

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Posted on May 3, 2008 at 6:07 pm in Difficult Relationships   |  RSS feed |   Reply   |   Trackback URL

3 Comments to “My husband ignores Mothers Day”

1. 
   Julie Garland
   May 14, 2008 at 5:44 pm

   Your not my mother. My husband said that years ago. Valentine’s Day. Stupid Holiday. My B-day. Never really paid attention. X-mas. He always goes overboard. It is not that we want material things per say, but some positive attention or excitement. This has ruined my holiday’s. I feel I have nothing to look forward too.

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2. 
   Leah
   June 13, 2008 at 1:53 pm

   My husband’s said the same things about Mother’s Day. I asked him not to get me a gift this year. Last year, our first Mother’s Day together, he gave me a gift, then ranted about how b.s. it all was and how much he resented having to buy it. I think a real man could suck it up for a day, and be kind and generous to his wife. But some of us are married to real jerks, that’s the painful truth.

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3. 
   kathy
   May 9, 2011 at 12:31 am

   My husband works every mothers day due to the nature of his job ( He does not have to work on Fathers day). I dont fault him for working as I know he doesn’t have much choice but he could observe it on another day or at least make sure that I still have a mothers day.Every year he gives me a cards from him and the boys. He also gets me a box of chocolates the night before at the local grocery store. He leaves them on the table in the morning and heads to work.I dont mean to sound ungrateful but as I am now middle aged and struggle with weight I have asked him to please get me something other than a box of chocolates. A gift certificate would be fine, or flowers or a garden plant but this is not as easy as grabbing a box of candy on his nightly snack run.Thats all thats ever happened for 21 years of motherhood. My oldest son now follows in his footsteps and also chooses to work on mothers day and leaves me a card that says “sorry I have to work”. He does buy me flowers which is nice.My youngest son ( who is too young to have an income ) feels bad that we do not do anything on mothers day like his friends families do. I usually take him somewhere and do a household repair project with him on mothers day to distract both of us. Would it kill my husband to give him some money, help him pick out a restuarant or even breakfast joint that he could take me to? My older son would probably come too if he did that as he doesn’t work until evening. Soon my younger son will be old enough to work and run off with just a card too. I don’t blame my older son as he has been taught by my husband that mothers day is not special.It is special for all the mothers they service on Mothers day, just not for me.I do not suffer in complete silence although I dont scream about it either. But, my husband knows I am sad on mothers day and still does nothing to make it better.
   On Fathers Day he takes the day off. I get him a card, a gift, and a BBQ. Some years I organize it with other family members and it becomes a small party. I make my sons do something for their father or purchases a small gift. I dont let them do sleepovers the night before because I want them home and well rested for their fathers special day. I want my sons to learn to think of others. My sons always think that Fathers day is special.They never have had to feel bad that nobody helped them observe Fathers day when they were to young or too poor to do it by themeselves.
   I could easily work on Fathers day but I always decline. I am tempted to work but I couldn’t do that to my husband or my sons. I would not want my husband to feel as sad and insignificant on Fathers day as I do on Mothers day. At my husbands request I have always worked part time so I could be around to raise my kids as my husband works long hours. It has not always been easy to defer my career for my family but that was what was needed.He makes me feel as though motherhood ( which I consider my most important job) isn’t that important to him.

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