He can’t handle his drink…

by Rod Smith

“I have been with a man I adore for two years. I love him completely and I would do anything for him. Throughout the relationship there have been problems. It was slow to get started because of a large age gap. I’m 21. He’s 40. He struggled with the idea of holding me back and dumped me countless times in the beginning every time I was settling down and gaining some sense of security and stability. He cannot handle his drink and starts to change beyond the man I know and love. I have been humiliated many times in public places, shouted at, screamed at sworn at, ignored, and left on the street late at night. All the while I have been the most understanding person, I believed I could see the root of his issues as he has had a lot of problems in the past and I thought I could help him- forgive him.” (Excerpt from long letter)

Until you love yourself more than you “adore” him you will a victim. Sadly, you will look to “fixing” him and your desperation to “save” this “relationship” will ruin you before you are able to hear voices of love and reason (family, friends) all around you.

2 Comments to “He can’t handle his drink…”

  1. Although some have survived large age gaps and there is the old saying “age doesn’t matter,” it does. This girl was 19 years old when she became involved in this much older man. At 38, that is borderline pedophilia. I am living proof that relationships can survive if both people are willing to work at them, however. It is possible. If HE wants to “fix” himself, then it can be done. As I said, however, she is much too young to be involved in his “grown up” problem. I hope she ditches him. I think she’d be wise to learn who she is on her own for a few years and grow.

  2. this is the man you love warts and all he willdrag you under with him as he becomes more dependent on the alcohol and you spend more and more of your time trying to help him and he will hate himself more for appearing so weak and helpless before you and then he willgo and get some more drink so he does not have to think about what he is doing to you .distance yourself from him and get back some of your old life and friends you had,cool off a bit ,to save yourself getting hurt he is not even aware how he is hurting you coz he is too drunk to remember and i am sorry to say he is to wrapped up in his own self and he knows it. but you persisted in this relationship coz you adore him .will you stilladore him when he has broke your rib ,or blacked yor eye ,kept you without sleep when you are pregnant ,spent all the housekeepng money ,smashed your home yet again etc etc.??thats part of my life with a man i still adore but no longer live with we have occasional visits and contact by phoneand our relationship has gone on for over 20years and he is still drinking etc so i hope you don,t expect a quick fix or think your love for him willchange him

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