Couple survives affair…

by Rod Smith

“An affair usually brings about massive hurt and pain to both spouses. I had an affair when my marriage was floundering. She switched my lights back on. I felt alive. Then the reality sunk in. We were both married. This was wrong. Whilst I was ready to leave my wife for this person, and a new, happier life, I remembered also that I’d made a vow. My wife told me that she loved me though she felt hurt and angry. This brought me misery and confusion. I knew that I had no option but to do something about my marriage. We struggled for a while, and then attended the Retrouvaille Marriage Program. I cut off all contact with my girlfriend because there was no choice if I was going to put my values above self-interest. I had done wrong and had to accept responsibility. I learnt that Love is a Decision and not a feeling. I decided to love. It meant having to help my wife deal with her pain by affirming her, letting her talk about her feelings. I learnt how to trust her with my feelings and accept hers without becoming defensive. Our love today shines brighter than it ever did, including when we were just married.” (Edited to 200 words)

3 Comments to “Couple survives affair…”

  1. Taking responsibility and action in a relationship is key to making it last in a loving and passionate way. THanks for sharing this Rod.

  2. My affair just ended and I am going through hell right now. I fell in love with the other man. We are both married. We no longer talk, but I miss him terribly. I think of him constantly. I dream of him. Cry for him. Hate that I am going through this. Mad at myself for allowing myself to have an affair, something I never thought was possible for me to do. My husband and I are going through counseling yet I still want the other man too. I want both of them. I can’t get over him. I love him. I truly am hurting badly and don’t know how to deal with this all.

  3. I have left my husband for another man and worked so so very hard to start a new life. It is not easy at all. I ended up more alone and fueled with anxiety on effexor, and lost intreset in everything just about because I love this man so much. He is now drifting away and I am alone, marriage over and about to loose my kids because of what I have done. I loved this man way more then he loved me and felt the effects. I feel for you because I know exactly how it feels. It’s the worst feeling in the world to love some one so much when you cannot fully have them.

    Please help us all who are going through this.

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