“I have known a woman for 4 years. We have lived together but broke up and got back together twice in the last year.  She is deciding whether to be with me or another guy. I find this stressful and have asked her to make up her mind.  She says I am not as warm as he is, and (she) wants to see my warmth despite the situation. I told her I would not have proposed to her and asked her father if I did not mean to make a life with her. I also told her she is not loving and must give that which she desires. Am I being played?” (Edited)

You have suggested this woman give to you that which she desires from you. Good suggestion. You do the same and things might improve between you. I cannot determine if you are being “played” or not.

What I can discern is a lack of shared warmth, compassion, and understanding – which is apparently so from both sides