The “old” way of “love”
- Love as a bargain or trade- favors returned or unreturned determine the level of “love” and commitment.
- Love as a weapon or to establish and maintain power – inclusion if well-behaved, exclusion if not.
- Love as a face or image – a show of love offered in public contrasting greatly with what is privately experienced.
- Love as a teaching tool – it’s all about learning, shaping, seldom for enjoyment.
- Love as punishment through withholding – a “I’ll show you who is in charge” distortion of love.
The “new” way of love
- Love as service – the giver enhances the lives of others through chosen humility and service.
- Love as a means to learning – the giver seeks to grow, therefore watches, listens with patience and care.
- Love as an expression of spirit and soul expressed to all – the giver has made a decision to grow in love and has therefore recognized that none are on the “outside,” all are insiders.
- Love as belonging – the giver desires to belong, not lead or organize or capitalize.
- Love as an expression of mercy, forgiveness, deserved or not – the giver has acknowledged his or her failings (gross or benign) and has turned his or her back on harmful, selfish ways, while offering to all the grace he or she so badly also needed.
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