Facing conflict?

by Rod Smith

Facing Necessary Conflict and considering timing, tone, intentions, and love 

If you are facing a challenging circumstance with someone, preparation time is invaluable. Barging ahead is seldom helpful. Bulldozering creates immediate resistance. Then you must face the initial circumstance and the resistance created by your lack of planning. 

Before you engage please consider:

Intentions: What do you hope to achieve? Can you express your hopes in 20 words or fewer? You may be very good at flying by the seat of your pants but preparation for necessary conflict is usually a very good idea. 

Tone: Are you on a warpath or do you come in peace? Are you sure you are barking up the right tree? When we are angry it is common to generalize all our issues into one perceived enemy. This will not be helpful.

Timing: Has enough time passed so your responses will be more objective? Are you trying to humiliate your opponent? Letting things rest for a few days usually helps shape perspectives. 

Love: No matter who your opponent is, spouse, business partner, complete stranger, you will be better off if your overriding desire is to learn more about yourself and about love. If your goal is to get even or win or defeat you are probably not ready and may need to go back to the drawing board.

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