There are some things a person simply cannot do for (or to) another person, no matter how much commitment there is, how deep the love may be, or how noble the goals. This is so even if the helper is overflowing with determination, and the helpee is hungry with need. This is especially true when people are in love, a time when people are most inclined to be convinced in their power to change another person.

It is impossible to make another person:

• Love you, want you, need you, miss you, or trust you.
• Love, want, need, miss, or trust someone else.
• See, feel or think in a certain manner for an enduring period.
• See the light, or get some sense into their lives.
• Lose or gain weight, save money, want, or not want sex.
• Use or stop using drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, or bad language.
• Become healthier.
• Be happy or fulfilled, be angry, want change, succeed or fail at anything. 

The above are “inside” jobs. Until the motivation is self-generated within the one in need, the helper will work harder than the helpee and ultimately drain the helper of all enthusiasm and energy.

Posted on December 30, 2020 at 4:33 pm in Difficult Relationships   |  RSS feed |   Reply   |   Trackback URL