“My husband – second marriage for him and my third marriage – after three years of marriage is starting to go against something he committed to in the early days of our relationships. His adult daughter is a very controlling woman, always looking for money. He promised he’d have nothing to do with her if we got married. I have found out he is having contact with her and wants to meet his grandchildren. He has kept this secret from me – starting to be in touch with her – and I am very upset.” (Edited for brevity and clarity)

You can hold your husband to his marriage vows – the ones you exchanged at the wedding – and those alone. Asking a man to have no contact with his adult children (or grandchildren) is to ask what is “outside” of your realm of reasonable expectation. His relationship with his daughter precedes his relationship with you. In that sense it is none of your business and never will be. You married a man with a daughter. You knew that going in. While his daughter may indeed be “a very controlling woman” I trust that you will be able to see that you are trying to exercise control over matters that are beyond your reach.   

Posted on December 3, 2020 at 8:22 am in Difficult Relationships   |  RSS feed |   Reply   |   Trackback URL