#internationaldayofthegirl

10-11-2020

Part 1:

Run from men (and boys) who are more interested in your body than in your brain. Your appearance may be, in some settings, the first point of mutual attraction but if things don’t move beyond that within the first three minutes, forget it. Move on.

Dump the thought that you are a “half” waiting to become “whole” because some man will “complete” you. You are a person, not an incomplete jigsaw puzzle. You are a full person, partner or no partner. You are not lego.

Relationships are not a game to be won or lost and flee those who treat them as such. If you (or he) treat relationships like a game of Chess, Risk, or Monopoly, you will probably end up rather lonely. At the first indication of a check-mate situation (whichever way you choose you lose – or you have no choices at all) cut your losses no matter who he is or how much money is on the board.

It’s not your job to train or to teach men (and boys) how to treat women. That’s what parents do. If his parents were unsuccessful, hope life itself teaches him. Don’t take it on. If you assume the role of teacher or guide or therapist to him and you marry him, you will be signing up for an exhausting lifetime of parenting and guiding and counseling your spouse.

Enjoy your friends. The “right” man (or boy) for you will make you even more thrilled to be yourself than you already are. He will selflessly love your joy, encourage your freedom, and embrace everything about you. Please, please, settle for nothing less.

Part 2:

Without exception every one of you is gifted, talented, uniquely curious. Believe your parents or care-givers or teachers when they express something similar.

It’s not just “adult talk.” It is not said just to get you motivated. You are to be treasured, never exploited.

Talent, power, and bravery are divinely endowed. They are yours.

They are in your bones, your soul; in the very depths of your spirit and your being.

In the best of company your uniqueness, your talent, and the power within you will be encouraged, respected, and deeply valued.

But, some will try to exploit, ignore, or squelch you, and do so often in the “nicest” of ways, and even in the name of God.

Don’t cooperate. Not ever. Not for money, fame, recognition, or even to belong.

Stay out of control.

Arm yourself by chasing education (the only thing worth chasing), rejecting the foolish, pervasive belief that beauty is skin deep. Use your strong voice as early, quickly, and as loudly as possible.

Stand up for yourself.

Speak up.

Express your views. Don’t hold back.

Do it now so it becomes a way of life.

Posted on October 11, 2020 at 4:17 pm in Difficult Relationships   |  RSS feed |   Reply   |   Trackback URL