There is natural, necessary reactivity within each of us. It’s part of a primal protection mechanism. Over reacting (over-protecting) usually leads to trouble. 

The higher our anxiety and the greater the threat (real or perceived), the higher are our levels of reactivity. 

Thinking people, as opposed to reactive people, can think their way into a determined, cool, controlled response when faced with threat. This is usually short lived. We’ve all met “Mr. Cool-Calm” who can also quickly become “Mr. Explosive.” 

Anxiety will get you in the end. 

A better antidote to symptom-producing anxiety (symptoms might include irrational fear, fury, rage, some forms of depression, acts of isolation, acts defying long-held values) is to go to the source. 

Anxiety breeds in unresolved family of origin issues. It lurks within immediate significant relationships, especially where unhelpful compromise and denial of Self have occurred. 

So you thought you simply lost your cool or were pushed over the edge? No, you were probably howling at your forefathers or expressing some deep lack of fulfillment. You were probably trying to shed yourself of generational baggage you never agreed to carry. 

All this said, as adults, we remain 100% responsible for our reactivity (rage, fury, outbursts) 100% of the time – no matter where it comes from or ominous its origin.

Posted on January 25, 2019 at 9:45 am in Difficult Relationships   |  RSS feed |   Reply   |   Trackback URL