Making life a little easier

by Rod Smith

Get out of the middle of relationships (issues, concerns) that do not directly involve you. Your spouse’s relationship with your parents (your husband’s relationship with your son) does not involve you. It is close, it impacts you, but you are not part of it or responsible for it. Being “piggy-in-the-middle” is not much fun for piggy.

Resist speaking for others, explaining people to each other or being “communication central.” Allow people to speak for themselves and to each other without your help. Retrench yourself from being the family switchboard.

Extricate yourself from unnecessary binds (inappropriate loyalties) by refusing to harbor secrets and gossip even with your best of friends.

Move beyond blame by taking full responsibility for every aspect of your life. While you may have had a lousy childhood you are now an adult who, despite the many failings of your nurturers, has an opportunity to embrace life to the full.

Forgive everyone for everything because it’s a whole lot easier than accumulating grudges and safer than hosting bitter poison.

Show up, stand up, speak up for yourself – it’s really good practice and an excellent deterrent of abusive, controlling types. They will run a mile when they see what you are made of.

Arrange your inner-life (emotions, attitude) before your plan your daily schedule (your outer-life).

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