Why we don’t use pornography

by Rod Smith

Why we don’t use pornography – an on-going conversation for parents to have with their sons and daughters – and I will continue to have with my sons:

Women are more than body parts.Behind the body part is a person. She is a woman with dreams, and ambitions. She’s part of an immediate and an extended family. No matter what her circumstances, and no matter how complicit (or not) she may have been in allowing herself (or not) to be used in this manner, you know better.

Just as she is a victim of someone’s cruel plan, by participating in this impersonal and detached manner, you, when you indulge yourself with her image, you become another who uses her, who disregards her humanity. You dehumanize her and you do the same to yourself.

She, whoever she is, is to be treasured. She is not to be faceless, not for you or for anyone. She has a face, even if you can’t see it or will ever see it. You know that.

The moment you separate this person from her body and segment her into parts – in your head – in your head you do the same within yourself. You sell yourself the lie that bodies are more important than relationships. You sell yourself on the lie that what you think you need can be gained at the expense of another.

You engage in the lie that you need some-THING rather than embark on the journey of intimately knowing some-ONE.

I will not police you. I will not dig in your closets or drawers. I will not examine your computer or your phone. It is more important that you have a dad than that you have a live-in policeman. My prayer is that you will always see other people as people to treasure and never need anyone to monitor you, because you do such a fine job of monitoring yourself. I know you can – I see you do it so well every day.

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