What to do with pain……

by Rod Smith

If, in the midst of emotional pain, I tell myself that all people have pain or that it’s normal to have pain or that my pain is not as bad as the pain others have to endure I know I am not really dealing with it.

It’s not serving its useful, healing purpose.

This form of self-talk retains the experience in my head and blocks its necessary journey to my heart.

Of course, this can go on for years, running around my head forming a pathway like a deepening inescapable ditch.

If I admit that pain is a useful messenger and that some of it is a result of poor choices, the result of misguided self-importance, unique to me, and give myself some time, space to mourn the lack of connection I am experiencing with others, then the pain makes its transition to my heart.

I escape the ditch, the circular thinking and strongly experience my frailties and vulnerabilities.

Once the inner-journey is made, from head to heart, I find I am able to treasure the growth rather than endlessly trash myself for things I did when I knew better but lacked the wisdom to behave accordingly.

One Comment to “What to do with pain……”

  1. To me pain and suffering are equals. Pain can be redemptive and restorative… such as the pain of divorce. My first impulse was tying to understand what happened and why she caused the breakup. Satan’s trap: it leads to self-pity which leads to bitterness and all forms of evil thoughts. Over time, I’ve moved to the place of taking responsibility for my part in the situation. Whatever she has to answer for, is between her and her conscience and/or the Lord. I can learn from my mistakes in that relationship, thereby (hopefully) reducing the likelihood of repeating them in a future marriage. The old saying “don’t ask for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for you”

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