May 4, 2009
by Rod Smith
My heart is broken after a several year romance has ended. People tell me it takes time but two weeks later I am not feeling any better. Please help.
Of course you still feel brokenhearted after two weeks. The wounds are yet fresh. Having, I presume, structured much of your life around the interests and passions you enjoyed as a couple, it will be necessary for you to make determined shifts and changes to your orbit.
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that “time heals,” sometimes even time needs help. This is one of the few circumstances where “faking it” is helpful.
Go out to places you did not visit as a couple. Place yourself among caring people who do not know your former partner. Do not, when you are with “new” people, draw attention to your heartbreak or even tell them about it.
Given a month or two, things will begin to lift and the world will feel like a much warmer and friendlier place.
Posted in Difficult Relationships |
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May 2, 2009
by Rod Smith
“I live with my parents and tough grandmother. With little effort she makes my blood boil and hate her. She is a strong, judgmental, and used to telling everyone what to do. We were never close. She hurts me by constantly criticizing, belittling, and offending me. For years I have tried to ignore it. I tell myself that I don’t care but it only lead to me becoming emotionally numb or dead. My biggest fear is that she is going to die before I can find out who she really is and before I can share myself with her. Then we would never then get to have a genuine, intimate relationship. The thought is unbearable. I don’t know how to change things around or if I can. Please help.” (Edited)
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and caring friendships with peers outside of your home – this will provoke your numb emotions back to life and declare the end of your grandmother’s inappropriate rule. (Perhaps then, she’ll want to get to know you!) While this woman remains so powerful to you, and your desire to know her remains so strong, you are willingly under her rule and are therefore unable to freely create your own fulfilling future. If, having stated your wants, you are rebuffed persistently, I’d suggest you modify your expectations.
Posted in Forgiveness, Friendship, Grace |
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