This is a cop-out term (euphemism) to make a romantic attachment appear acceptable because there is allegedly no sexual activity. One or both persons in the so-called emotional affair is married or committed to someone else.

Here are behaviors common in an emotional affair portrayed through what one or the other person will typically say:

“I have finally found a friend without the complications of being sexually involved. It is so pure and you wouldn’t believe how good the friendship is for me.”

“He/she makes me into a better wife/husband and mother/father.”

“How can you be upset? You always wanted me to have close friends? What’s the difference if she is a woman when there’s nothing physical about it?”

“It is easier to talk since there’s no physical thing going on as there is with you and me.”

“He/she doesn’t judge me or expect anything from me. It’s like being with a therapist who is actually not charging anything.”

“Of course we talk and text a lot. That’s what friends do.”

“I don’t lie to you. It’s just that you wouldn’t understand how close we are and how much my relationship with her/him is really helping my relationship with you.”

Personal growth is not only the product of an act of will, or a series of determined acts to move ones life in a particular direction. It is also the result of getting ones relationships aligned. Here is a brief and incomplete list of the manifestations of emotional health. When you see these ten pointers surfacing in your life you will know you are becoming very well:

1. You are generous – you give, not out of guilt or pity, but from the joy of being able to give.
2. You are open to change, challenge, and diversity.
3. You allow others, even immediate family, to be different from what is generally expected without making judgments.
4. You are committed to personal values and you set clear personal goals.
5. You forgive and forget when it is wise to do so, and you forgive and remember when it is necessary.
6. You have several committed relationships besides your primary family relationships.
7. You honor and respect the elderly and you enjoy the young.
8. You do not take sides when friends disagree.
9. You do not chase others for anything.
10. You avoid rescuing behaviors.