“My mother-in-law and my husband are constantly at each others necks. We were having a prayer at home one night and he told her not to do something because he would do it later but she did it anyway. When he asked her about what she did she denied it but after some questioning she admitted it. Then things blew out of proportion and both said things they regret. I know that they must forgive each other but they are too stubborn. She tells me that it’s not my problem but she makes sarcastic remarks and seldom speaks to me. My husband is also short tempered when people do something wrong. He feels that she lied to him. I feel uneasy to be at her home. I told her if they can’t sort it out then we will move out. She says that if we are not happy living there then we should go.” (Edited)

Your mother-in-law is correct. It’s not your problem. Try to stay out of it. While staying out of it, I know, is easier said than done, getting yourself in the middle of an age old conflict will only ultimately render you “enemy” to both, and have you feeling even more helpless. I am willing to bet the two of them have been dancing this dance long before you married into the family.

Quite apart from this futile squabble I’d suggest it is time you and your husband establish your independence. But, watch out, if your husband does not grow up a little and get these petty tensions with his mother somewhat resolved, he will most certainly, once you are on your own, begin to wrestle with you in the very same way he now does with his mother. Yesterday’s unresolved issues unfailingly emerge in today’s relationships and thus we end up fighting ancient battles with those who were not even in our lives when the conflict began.