Separate rooms… one house….

by Rod Smith

“We have a spare room with a bathroom and my husband has moved into that part of the house at my request. He’s been living there since October. He told me he had ‘a’ love for me, but didn’t love me like he should. So I grieved and then told him I couldn’t share my bedroom anymore. He understood and agreed. Neither of us wants to get divorced. The situation, while sad, is working. Someone said to me, ‘How can you begin to heal when you are in the process of being hurt?’ I knew that I needed my own space and my own room where rejection was not constant. For now it’s a solution.”

d-is-for-differentiation1You are right – it is a temporary solution. How long can you both live like this? The bedroom is the crucible, and I’d suggest that after some meaningful discussion (including helpful conflict) both of you assess how love can realign (re-shape, change, modify) itself. You will not be the first married couple to live separate lives while sharing a house, but this does not make it less regretful. Talk. If you stop talking you could become so accustomed to living this way you will never grow beyond this point.

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