Sleeping arrangements when brother visits with his girlfriend…

by Rod Smith

“I don’t know what to do. My brother (25) and his girlfriend (24) are coming to stay for a few days. They live together (and are not married). My children (boys who are 6 and 7) know they are not married and I don’t know if I should let my brother and his girlfriend stay in the same room. We are Christians and do not support living together and I am not sure what kind of message this will send to my children.” (Shortened)

If you judge your brother your attitude toward him will send your children a stronger, more memorable and negative message than any memory each boy might retain of an uncle’s sleeping arrangements.

I’d suggest you fall on your knees and thank God you have a brother who wants to visit your home, and allow your adult brother and his adult girlfriend to decide where they’d like to sleep – even when visiting your home.

Your children are likely to remember how you love their uncle more than they will remember where anyone slept!

2 Comments to “Sleeping arrangements when brother visits with his girlfriend…”

  1. This is excellent advice! Live in love and don’t allow your love or your home to be conditional.

  2. The year my husband and I were engaged, we (both 24) lived with a group of Christians and theological students who were very hostile to even public affection. For practical reasons, neither of us could move out, and while there, we shared a bed several times, without breaking our “till marriage” covenant. The bulk of our housemates took it upon themselves to ostracize us mercilessly until the day we left, for a while not even being direct about their reasons (I found out later through a confrontation in which they tried to “publicly” shame my fiance and I). They expressed some of the most immature and unloving attitudes that I’ve ever had the misfortune to encounter, and the experience ended up bringing my fiance/husband and me closer together and farther away from their standard of relating. I think if someone values the principle of love, or a relationship at the very least, s/he won’t stoop to being morally “pure” at the expense of being ethically consistent.

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