Archive for February 26th, 2007

February 26, 2007

He asks me if I love him and then asks for cigarettes…

by Rod Smith

Reader Question: “My son is 19 failed his first semester of tech. He is very clever and has always been very popular and a great achiever. All this changed when he turned about 16. He became dark, and quiet and withdrawn. Round the same time be began smoking cigarettes and drinking socially with the odd binge. He now complains bitterly that he never has enough money. I feel like I am funding his habits. I buy him all his food and do his cooking, as he cannot manage the money properly. I have suggested he get a weekend job to subsidise his income. He will ask me how much I love him and then ask for cigarettes. I put my foot down last week, it resulted in a text message from him which was abusive and saying he would never be contacting me again for anything ever again. (Letter shortened)

Rod’s Response: Fundamental error: you’re working harder at your son’s life than he is. Of course you feel as if you are supporting his habits – you are. Cut ALL financial help. This is not easily done but you’d better do it soon. If you support his ugly ways they will only grow, and consume you, and all who love him.