“I have been married for 25 years with ups and downs like most marriages. I’m at a point where I want to be alone. There has been too much baggage from our past marital problems, which seem intolerable. I will devastate a lot of people if I leave my husband but I want to. I’m 45 years old and feel I want a fresh start. Not with another man, just with myself so I can find the self I lost somewhere along the line. The longer I stay, the more I realize how hard it is going to be. I have two sons who live on their own. It’s just my husband and me. I am finding it difficult to stay. I want a change. Is it okay to be so selfish?” (Edited)

Try first to salvage yourself within your marriage. This is the greater challenge. While I will agree that some marriages are irredeemable, it is the best place to begin looking for the person you feel has been lost.

Wanting to be fulfilled is not selfish. Many marriages reach a time and place when one of the partners desires to discover the person perceived to have been lost in the marriage.