Archive for August 29th, 2006

August 29, 2006

Husband and wife disagree over daughter’s (15) relationship…..

by Rod Smith

My husband and I have an awful wedge between us over our daughter (15). She has been involved in a relationship with a young man (17) for 18 months. My husband has never truly been in favor of the relationship but because of his inconsistent involvement with our daughter’s upbringing he sometimes accepts it. I am more accepting. We disagree about her staying at his home, which has been happening on a regular basis for 10 months. I have no problem but my husband is totally against it. I know, and like, the boy and his extended family. They have high standards. Both young people have assured me that they are not sexually active. My daughter pleads with me to trust her. (Letter edited)

Response: Your daughter is too young for such an intense relationship but it is unlikely, after permitting it for 10 months, you will be able to stop it. I think, and I am often wrong, it somewhat naive to think there is no sexual activity between these children.

Agree on what both parents would prefer. Inform her. If she is worth trusting, and is sufficiently mature for such an intense relationship, she will opt for what her parents prefer.

Your husband’s inconsistency does not disqualify him from having authority.