I am 23. My boyfriend (32) wants me to watch pornography with him. It is very uncomfortable for me. He insists, and I feel pressure to give in. He says it is “normal” and that his previous girlfriend did it all the time. (Letter edited)
Response: Always refuse sexual behavior you don’t want. As adults you and your boyfriend can do whatever you mutually consent to do, but going against what you find acceptable will not do you (or your relationship) any good.
Evidence, limited I agree, suggests your boyfriend is potentially abusive: he exerts pressure, won’t hear your “no”, makes hurtful comparisons to get his way. I’d suggest you are one of the many women he will use, but not love.
The problem with pornography (which has no redeeming features) and apart from its degradation of the “actors” is that it promotes sexual behavior that is only lustful. It omits entirely the portrayal of the sex act as something mutual, respectful, private and loving, best enjoyed by married, respectful equals. By the way, if he and his previous girlfriend were so sexually compatible I can only wonder why they are not still together.
difficultrelationships.com 