It all began so well — then he showed who he really is

by Rod Smith

“I met my ‘Prince Charming’ through an acquaintance. We hit it off from the beginning, but without any emotional fireworks. We shared a passion for ballroom dancing, and found we had much else in common: a love of the outdoors, music, humor; we are both financially independent, and we are both divorced with grown-up children. I thought it strange that he had no close friends and did not socialize beyond a very small circle, and that he showed no interest in introducing me to any of his family members, other than his married daughter. This should have been the first alarm bell to ring.

”Gradually he became more controlling, but in very subtle ways. He monitored what I ate and drank. He criticized my dancing when it wasn’t up to his standard. I had to live up to all his expectations all the time. He criticized my political opinions. Slowly but surely, he began to criticize all my opinions. There were violent outbursts of temper if I stood up to him in any way. Yet through all this, he remained the caring, thoughtful man I had grown to love, particularly when we were in the company of others, and I was so flattered that he was interested in me.” (Extracted from a much longer letter)

2 Comments to “It all began so well — then he showed who he really is”

  1. Nancy's avatar

    In my experience, “caring, thoughtful” is not a trait of “controlling.” I have known controlling people of both sexes, who appeared caring and thoughtful at times, but who could turn nasty on a dime. The common denominator between them is power. One is wealthy and has political clout while the other has charisma. I was fooled by their attention until I realized that what paraded as sincerity was nothing more than manipulation.

  2. Dee's avatar

    Who is he is alone with you, is who he REALLY is. Ask yourself if that is how you want to live.

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