I wrote yesterday about how we are connected with people in our immediate, extended, and family of choice. These connections, at best, nourish and inspire us. At worst, they drain us and drive us crazy. 

The challenge remains for each of us to take responsibility for how we connect (relate, respond, initiate) in order to have relationships that nourish both others and ourselves. 

I referred to “over-connected” people. This is when people are fused, joined at the hip (even though there may be oceans between), where day-to-day operation is so entwined it seems impossible to discern where one person ends and the other begins. Any urge for space will be interpreted as rejection. A kind, gentle, assertion toward appropriate separation will do both parties good. This kind of dependence can be of a financial nature. 

“Under-connected” people distance themselves to the point of indifference where neither person is nourished and both can be “starved” through lack of contact. This can be the result of some unresolved matter hidden under some forgotten carpet. A gentle approach and request for appropriate connection may result in rewards for both. 

“Cut-offs” (I’ll never talk to that person again) can unsettle both parties, often awarding the “victim” the power over he or she who severed the relationship. Mutual humility may be the only hope. 

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