Quick fixes to life’s problems annoy me.

The Art of Living Well is a process. It’s a life-long process. It’s a journey of joy and some sadness and many struggles. Its challenges pivot on being willing to embrace and understand the unavoidable juxtaposition of the Beauty and the Brutality of life simultaneously occurring for most people.

And yet, there are some simple (not easy) things that we can all do that will immediately enhance the journey, make it even more meaningful, more beautiful and rewarding, despite the inevitable dilemmas that are served up most days:

Take full responsibility for yourself – blame no one for anything at all, find your role in whatever you face – and your journey will be enhanced.

Choose generosity at every possibility – and your joy will increase.

Define yourself and refuse to define others (even those whom you truly love) and the respect you gain will be an immediate reward.

Forgive everyone everything – it’s an on-going process – without exception – I never said it would be easy – and you will feel freedom come pouring into your life.

Surrender control, let the natural process of living have its way – and see that much in life can be really trusted.

The Mercury – Wednesday February 8, 2023

Being right is a dangerous place if being right will split your family and alienate you from people you love.

Being right is never as important and powerful as being loving.

I am not suggesting a compromise of standards although you may believe it to be when you are right. It’s about trying to view the world from many perspectives, understanding people see things differently from you. Being right may give you the moral high ground but you may also lose significant relationships. This is the challenge we face when being right is more important than being loving.

Being right may work in your favor when interpreting your deceased dad’s will but the questions will remain long after you’ve spent the money or sold the sofa: have you been loving, kind, and fair?

Being right means others are wrong.

When your “rightness” makes others “wrong” they are placed on the outside.

At this point you may have forgotten the importance their worlds hold for them and the loggerheads that ensue could turn to years of cut-off and alienation.

It’s not about giving in. It’s about taking the time to respect the humanity of others as frail and faulty as it may be, and allowing people to meet as beings, all of whom are as imperfect, even as you are, as right as you may well be.

The Mercury (Monday Feb 6, 2023)