In relationships:

Toxic patterns, abuse, excessive use of alcohol, lying, anger, jealousy, infidelity, to name a few, seldom improve without intervention, but will only increase in intensity, without some form of disruption. Unless toxic, or destructive patterns are addressed, they will only grow.

Self-definition, being willing to declare who and what you are, and what you want from a relationship, will be a healthy exercise even if, at first, such action seems fraught with potential to ruin a relationship. Any relationship that demands a person “tone down” who and what they are, is probably not a healthy one.

Forgiveness is not based on who is wrong or right. The stronger partner, or the one with the insight that forgiveness is necessary, is the one who takes the initiative toward forgiving. Problems arise when one partner is always expected to be the one initiating forgiveness. In this case, a relationship is lacking equality, mutuality, and respect: something deeper is amiss.

Regular sexual activity is a vital part of any marriage, well beyond childbearing years, and ought to be as important to both persons, and as central to both persons as are the mutual planning of finances, the mutual support of the children’s education and as important for a couple as regular worship at church, temple or synagogue.