Q: My son (mid-twenties) is living in the UK has told me that my friend’s son (mid-twenties) who is also living in the UK is “doing drugs.” He asked me not to tell his mother who is my friend. I think she should know. What should I do?

A: Switch positions. What would you like to have occur were the roles reversed? Would you like a phone call announcing that your adult son (who is thousands of miles away) is “doing drugs”? You know the woman. You know how you’d like to be treated. You decide.

?Doing drugs? is a vague term. Using it will probably ignite a mother?s worst fears. He could be indulging in very harmful, dangerous illegal substances, or, have relatively harmless, yet unwise habits.

There is so much information available everywhere about the dangers of using illegal substances that it is hard to believe the prodigal is not willingly participating in his foolish behavior. I’d bet that were mother and son living in the same house she’d be unlikely to do much about his behavior.

The mother is a long way from her ADULT son. Darkness, distance and disease amplify anxiety. I think you will be inviting this mother into little more than anxiety-ridden, sleepless nights.