“I do not want to hurt my ‘partner’ to get what I would like so I have given him – we have been in an affair since 1985 — an ultimatum. I am moving on with my life. I really want to move on but I am deeply in love with him. He always told me that he was not having an intimate relationship with his wife but I could never believe that and never will. All I am seeking is a closure on this fairy tale story. He is an excellent gentleman and I do not like to hurt him. I am getting hurt all the time. He is finding it difficult to accept my decision and he can’t come up with a decision.” (Letter edited)

Rod’s response: This is no fairy tale. It is a nightmare! You will not live with this man without being married to him – but you will see him behind his wife’s back? What nonsense. He is NOT an EXCELLENT man.

Excellent men do not treat their wives (or women) this way. You need professional help to rid yourself of all these ridiculous double standards and the deep-seated deceit in which you have engaged for so very long.