Some things are always a choice. The choice may be loaded (difficult to make). The choice may be obscure. The choice may seem unreasonable and/or counter-intuitive. But, some things remains a choice:
To choose to be decent (kind, well-meaning) to people, difficult people, people who seem hurt and hard to please, people who are rough and tough as a result of things that have nothing whatsoever to do with you and perhaps even nothing to do with them. This choice, to be decent under all circumstances, is a choice that must be made long in advance so that when encountering such people you’re already in the captain’s seat of your own life, your emotions, and your responses.
To choose to be non-reactive, to be a non-anxious presence, when a context or conflict or foes anticipate a reaction from you. There is no inner-switch you can turn on or off in an instant and be this way. Non-anxious behavior, being a non-anxious presence takes years of practice in smaller matters so that when larger matters come along your responses are natural, an expression of who and what you are.
To choose to listen and to wait before you speak and to weigh your words before they leave you is again, a choice, a habit worth forming.
Let it be, all three, for you and for me.
An original card, received from a friend
difficultrelationships.com 
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