Seek someone who considers himself or herself to be a fellow learner and who is exploring his or her own life and family.

Seek someone who will challenge you to find your true Self which you may have lost in marriage, or parenting, or career. He or she will challenge you to be your appropriate size which you may have compromised to fit in or beloved and accepted. He or she may have to help you to trim down your size after you expanded into bullying behavior during periods of self-doubt. 

Seek someone who knows therapy sessions are about process, about  reactivity, rigidity, fusions, cut-offs, triangulations, over-functioning, under-functioning and not content. 

Seek someone who helps you identify and clarify your helpful and unhelpful attitudes and behaviors so you may gain clarity and self-awareness, pathways to personal responsibility, blame avoidance, greater maturity.

Seek someone who is an expert in the Art of Listening, someone who is curious about you and your life but is not inquisitive about it. Someone who knows the difference between empathy & anxiety, love & worry, thinking & feeling, asking questions & being inquisitive and intrusive. 

Seek someone who can engage you and be an advocate for your health and strength and who believes you know what is good and healthy for yourself. He or she will get out of your way, avoid trying to read your mind, and avoid offering you insights and interpretations that  you are fully equipped to discover and uncover for yourself.