Adam, Bob, and Charlie are friends who work together. 

When Adam gets anxious, he focuses on colleague Bob, who according to Adam, is hard to work with. 

Adam asks Charlie for a private conversation. This gives Charlie a good feeling. He feels important, included. He really is one of the guys! 

When they meet Adam commiserates, even seeks prayer for what to do about Bob. Charlie feels helpful because he gives Adam the chance to get things off his chest – and we all need that. 

Adam feels very good about it too. He  says “God sent you, Charlie” and Charlie feels pleased that God is finally “using him.” 

One problem (of several) is Adam wants Charlie on Adam’s side. If Charlie plays along and allows Adam to use him to avoid talking to Bob, Charlie will see that Adam has shown little or no respect to his colleagues.    

It may take a while for Adam and Charlie to learn that nothing will change between Adam and Bob until Adam and Bob talk to each other about each other. Charlie, in the meantime may start noticing just how difficult Bob really is, even though it had not crossed his mind before. While he may have not had quite the welcome from Adam, Adam, Bob, and Charlie would have been a tad better off had Charlie suggested Adam talk to Bob rather than talk about him.