A note to single or solo parents OR things i am still learning…..

Your children, from babies and all the way up to off to university or marriage, want you to be fearless or at least honest about not being fearless at times when you are not. 

Your children have little or no interest in what brought you to this joyful privilege of single or solo  parenting and certainly will reap no benefit if you are carrying guilt or shame for what brought you to this honored place. 

Your children are going to regard what you have as normal, as the way life is supposed to be, so get comfortable with your family as it is and play it to the full. 

Your children are capable of much but not of meeting your needs for adult companionship or easing your loneliness and to expect that from your children is more than unfair.

You children want to feel safe and have fun and engage in story-telling and lots of play and lots of eye contact with you. Hold off on all manner of screen-sitting for as long as possible.

Your children are not a means to complete your unfinished or unhappy childhood. This is their turn and parenting is the ultimate adult challenge.