“I am stronger than I usually think I am.” 

This is not some proud arrogant assertion – unless it is. Self-declared, in humility, it is the truth and key to taking responsibility for whatever we are called to face. 

“I can learn new things, helpful things, and I can unlearn old things, things unhelpful to others and to me.”

This is key when we find ourselves repeating unwanted behaviors or we find ourselves lost in familiar, uncomfortable ruts. 

“No matter what happens I will not return evil for evil or inhabit a world of payback.”

Energy spent playing tit-for-tat or payback is far better used more creatively no matter how tempting the desire for retribution.  

“Under all circumstances I get to decide what kind of person I want to be.”

This essential self-talk question removes all others from the equations and demands we face ourselves. 

“The issue is hardly ever another person or group of people. I have to ask myself what my role is in all the dilemmas I face.”

The common denominator in all of my relationships and entanglements is me. What do I need to do differently next time?   

If you do not tell people who you are they will decide who you are. Which do you want? Your version or theirs? Show up. Speak up. Advocate for yourself – always. This is your thoroughly human, spiritual, adult privilege and responsibility. The healthy people in your spheres of family, friendships, faith, and workplace will endorse and honor this unique human joy that is yours and be similarly showing up and speaking up and advocating for themselves – which will, of course, get your support.

Do your part in reducing guesswork (withholding needed information) and crossovers (speaking for other adults rather than for yourself) and unnecessary entanglements (perpetuating gossip or “juicy” news or tidbits about others) in all of your relationships in all of the many spheres of your life.  Clarity now – today – reduces future confusions and unnecessary misunderstandings.

Look for opportunities to “see” others for who and what they really are. FInd opportunities to empower others to achieve their dreams and goals. Neither activity on your part can be rushed. Seeing and listening to both what is said and not said takes time, determination. The rewards are mutually mind-blowing for those whom you will empower and the person who gets behind others and their endeavors.