Two primal drives….

I want to be autonomous, occupy the driver’s seat of my life. Every now and then, for an hour or two, a day or two, even a week or two, I want to be alone to plan and do my own thing. Deep down in the core of my being exists a desire for autonomy. If ignored, it will be to my detriment. This is a gift, a primal urge, integral to who I am as a human, seated within the core of the human spirit and soul.

The desire for intimacy is primal,  it is deeply imprinted within me, just as deeply as the desire for autonomy. I want to belong. I want to be known. I want to be heard, and treasured as a companion and friend. I want to be an integral part of the lives of a few close family and friends. I want to be fearlessly open with a handful of loving friends.

Keeping both drives in order is my ongoing challenge. I will continue to learn how to achieve my goals while being available to those whom I love. I will focus on being simultaneously intimate and autonomous with the people whom I love. I will define myself in every area of my life or others will feel somewhat compelled to do it for me.

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