The desire for AUTONOMY is a powerful instinct within you. It is the craving to be self-directed and separate. It is the “you” who wants to be free of all ties, all responsibilities. It is the “you” that fears absorption; the “you” who wants to let your hair blow in the wind, feel the sun on your back and live a carefree life. This is the lone-ranger and pioneer spirit within you. This desire is a necessary part of your survival and growth – don’t reject it.
The desire for INTIMACY is a powerful instinct within you. It is the craving to be close and connected. It is the “you” that wants to belong, be known and be part of a family, a team. It is the “you” that fears abandonment and desertion; the you who longs for a unified journey with others, the you that wakes up at night and wonders with horror, what it would be like to be totally alone. This is the nest-making part of you, the part who longs for a shared life. This desire is a necessary part of your survival and growth – don’t reject it.
Healthy adults acknowledge these desires in themselves, and then in others – and never feed the one at the ruin of the other. This is wisdom!
difficultrelationships.com 