It’s time for New Year’s resolutions.
The louder and bolder mine are, I’ve learned over the years, the less likely they are to last.
I do tend to follow through a little better on silent, private resolutions.
Prior to making hopeful decisions about the coming year I also try to elucidate three or so learnings or observations from the last 12 months.
Repeated questions gave shape to my 2023:
“What kind of person do you want to be?” I asked myself almost daily. Answering it, trying to live according to my answers, I believe saved me some pain and expense. The joy of the question is that it removes others from the equation. It removes all elements of blame and any potential desire for pay-back. It obliterates all traces of victim thinking and victim living.
“How would you like your sons to behave in any parallel circumstances at a similar age?” Trying to live the answer to this question has, I believe, provided me with safe guidance.
“Seed or stone; bloom or tomb?” Answering this question, posed in a poem by Dennis and Mathhew Linn, has been life-transforming. Seeds grow, feed — represent life; stones are hard and lifeless, can hurt and wound. It’s far easier to stone others than it is to resist the urge and transform whatever it is into life-giving seeds. This metaphor has guided my responses to many challenging circumstances. I like to think I have chosen seeds and have been determined to throw no stones.
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