Observations for students who are studying the art and science of talk therapy….
You are working too hard if you – the therapist – are talking too much. It is the client’s hour, not yours. The therapy hour is for the client to learn about the client’s life and family, not yours. Listen to the client’s stories, avoid telling your own.
You are working too hard and probably have an exaggerated concept of your role if you take clients “home” with you in your head. This does not mean you ought not think about your daily work at home, but it is an unhealthy sign if your clients are keeping you awake at night. Also, it is (usually) a red flag if one client gets more of your thinking time than another.
“Too much too soon” is usually, if not always, a red flag. If your client improves overnight, if your approach to therapy is regarded as “miraculous” or if your connections with your clients seem to be immediate. Try to be healthy enough to assess who is (unintentionally) misleading who. All authentic human encounters take time and patience and quick therapeutic rewards are probably fool’s gold. Pleasing the therapist or pleasing the client is not the goal of the therapeutic hour (or month, or year).
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