A parent of one of my son’s peers asked my son, then about 11, if I was a “helicopter” parent. 

For the uninitiated, this is a somewhat playful but can be demeaning term teachers may use for the “over-parenting” types teachers must often engage. 

It’s the hyper-vigilant, ever anxious, overly child-focussed parent whose entire life appears to hub around a child or children. It is the parent who is focussed almost solely on the child’s moods, grades, levels of content or discontent. It is the parent who sees parenting as a 24/7/365 forever-calling, and who, with the advent of a child or children, finally has something for which to live. 

“No, he’s more like a submarine,” he replied.

This response entertained me. It revealed an uncanny understanding of how I usually operate. This compliment still enriches me even though my parenting has ended. (I am still their dad but my sons are launched). 

When facing a challenge or an issue, I tend to circle the area, often undetected. I watch. I assess, get counsel. 

Then, I act. 

It may take a while.

What some may perceive as inaction — is not.

The submarine is scouting the territory, testing the tides, weighing options.

The sub is seeking objectivity, assessing an approach, trying to love, and timing the potential, if necessary, of one. or even several, strikes.