Half my lifetime ago, and it wasn’t easy for me to do the calculations, I moved to the United States.
I was alone; nervous, excited.
My inner-dialogue repeated Robert Frost’s “Way leads to way” from the middle of “The Road not Taken.”
The closing couplet annoys me only for its misuse and its bumper-sticker common usage. For me the real gold of the poem are the four words “Way leads to way.”
There are times I wonder how things would have been had I chosen to remain in Durban. What if I had moved to Australia?
New Zealand?
What if I had gone to England as some of my cousins did?
Knowledge of what might have been is conjecture, often foolish, often the result of blaming others or self-blame or the fruit of grief. No one can know what may have been around a corner not taken, an ignored opportunity on a diverging path, a ‘plane ticket unpurchased, a form ignored or lost, an embassy too difficult to reach or avoided.
One can know what happened.
One can know what is happening.
One can recognize the peculiar, unpredictable, mostly wonderful journey that has unfolded.
In a score of plan-your-future seminars I could never have predicted or planned how things have transpired, how wheels have turned, how events collided to place my sons and me (would I have had children at all?) in this unusual context. The Midwest of the USA is about as far from home in every imaginable manner, but a context brimming with spectacular experiences and opportunities.
I have on occasions seized the day but wasted many.
I’ve mourned and I rejoiced, hurt others and been hurt by others.
I’ve used and been used.
Shakespeare says King Lear (poor soul) is “a man more sinned against than sinning” but it is not a label I can claim.
When I have endured the pain of a cut-off from a treasured relationship I have tried for reconciliation as best as I know how. Some attempts have been successful but mostly not. I expect I will take some pain – the emotional pain of loss of treasured friends – to the grave and probably with a convincing brave front.
My choices have resulted in many beautiful outcomes, and some, not.
Way indeed, leads to way.
Thank you Robert Frost.
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