Caring for another, a neighbor, a friend, during an illness or while grieving a loss is an art.

Caring too much — overdoing caring — damages both the recipient of the “care” and he or she who offers it.

Caring offhandedly or indifferently is no care at all.

Then, it’s a tricky business trying to care for one who needs no care or thinks he or she needs no care.

Striking a balance of caring for another without compromising oneself is a delicate art form.

But, it’s possible.

It can be learned and practiced and perfected. Then, when errors are made, the errors can teach valuable lessons so they are unlikely to be repeated.

Among the first errors is the belief that caring for another is easy, requires little or no thought, training, or preparation. Another is agreeing or deciding too quickly.

Long term care for another, costs. It’s an enormous investment of time and love and commitment requiring that other facets of the carer’s life will require reassessment. Long term care for one will mean others in the carer’s broader circle of relationships will also require readjustments.

Self-care comes first or the “care” offered will probably begin well but spiral down to acts of begrudged favors and feel both for the carer and recipient like a really bad marriage.