Several years ago you wrote about “high maintenance” people and described my then-girlfriend to a T. Please publish it again. It was hard to believe a person who had never met my girlfriend at the time was able to describe her with such accuracy.

High maintenance people require constant attention and approval. They crave to be the center of almost every conversation and will often become symptomatic (moody, resentful, loud, threatening) when they are not. They analyze every move, thought, word and action of their friends and then tend to read more meaning into everything than was ever intended. They are easily hurt, quickly offended, quick to rebuke when they do not get the kind of attention they think they deserve.

High maintenance people are difficult, sometimes impossible, even in the most relaxed of circumstances. They pick fights, find fault and personalize almost everything. They argue with people who are closest to them for no apparent reason. They often pick on strangers (waiters, helpers). They often live in a world of cut-off relationships where everyone else is an idiot.

What can you do if you are in a relationship with a high maintenance person? You can do very little that will not hurt, offend them, or get a reaction out of him or her – but you must make a stand. High maintenance people seldom benefit from pity or patience or empathy. They will only benefit from being constantly challenged to grow up.

Posted on March 24, 2009 at 7:08 am in Difficult Relationships   |  RSS feed |   Reply   |   Trackback URL