Reader Writes: I’m months away from getting married to a man who works and lives in a small town. Over a few months we had problems because wants me to come live with him, and, as much as I’d love to live in with him, I have a job and can’t imagine myself staying at home not working. It would kill me. I do not want to lose being independent and I am scared of depending on him for everything, including money. He has given me an ultimatum before, and since we are so close to getting married, I know that he will make me choose again between the life that I love (working and being financially independent) or staying with him to be a house-wife. I love him but I’m not sure if I can give up everything I am  and have, including my happiness, for him. I also think it’s unfair of him to expect me to be the one doing all the sacrificing. Do you think I’m being unfair and unreasonable? (Letter shortened)

Rod Responds: Ultimatums sre not in the language of love. If this man had any sense he’d come running to join the wise woman your letter reveals you to be. Rethink everything. I’d suggest this is probably not a good match!