“My girlfriend is very jealous. If I have too much fun with my sisters she retreats into a dark mood. Then, if I am not having fun with her — which is hard to do once she has drawn my attention to it — she gets all sorry for herself and says our relationship will “never work.” Then I try to console her but it ends in a long discussion about why I love my family more than I love her! Please help.? (Letter edited)
You have more fun with your sisters because they more fun! Your sisters are not studying your every move under an intense, distorted microscope. Your girlfriend probably needs to grow up or very skilled professional help. No amount of your convincing her will ease the pressure on you. Until she sees that it is she, herself, and not you, who is to take charge of her jealousy, it will erode your odd liaison until it will “never work.”
This is a very high-maintenance relationship! No wonder you are not having much fun. Peer just a little closer, try a little harder, convince her a little more, and you will have glimpsed into the bottomless pit of trying to solve a problem that is not, in the first place, yours to solve.
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